I remember the day as though it were yesterday.
I was eager to go to school and to be with friends. To laugh and run around at recess, play marbles and hopscotch and to express as the freedom seeking spirit that I was.
I was six years old
Still innocent enough to converse with imaginary friends, have tea parties with faeries and play hide and seek with the leprechauns that lived in my mother’s garden. With this wonderful spirit in my heart, I knew that I was free and that my spirit wings had been given to me by God.
I actually believed that one day I would fly like a bird
I especially liked hummingbirds and thought that my spirit wings went as fast as theirs, and that made me so happy. Deep in my heart and in secret I would tell myself ‘My life is mine to live, I am the boss of me because God said so.’ Where did that come from?
To my dismay, I discovered that God gave the world the law of polarity, and I soon found myself on the other end of the spectrum. From a free spirit I was now a caged bird.
My beautiful wings were clipped by my 1st-grade school teacher
My “I am free” mantra faded into a whisper, but it was never silenced, however, for now I was singing a different tune. And it sounded something like “Get me out of this school!”
I learned quickly how to lie
In fact I was taught how to lie by my teacher on the very day that I learned about polarities.
The story of how I learned to lie goes something like this
Mom packed my lunch on that fated day. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich along with a big hunk of white cake with sugary frosting for desert. The cake was my favourite. All morning while sitting in class all I could think about was sinking my teeth into that yummy cake.
The lunch bell rang and we all ran to get our lunch box
I happily agreed when a girl in the class asked me to switch seats with her. I eagerly took my lunch to the third seat from the front…the row right in front of the teacher’s desk. I ate my cake first and I remember thinking, “Make sure you clean up all the cake crumbs”, “leave the desk spotless”. And that’s exactly what I did.
The bell rang out, calling the students to return for afternoon class. When I got back to my seat, my teacher, like Ursula from The Little Mermaid, hovered over me blowing steam from her ears, nose and mouth while screaming
“Deanna, why are there crumbs on your desk and why didn’t you clean them up?”
I shuddered in her fury, and timidly said “They aren’t mine. I didn’t sit at my desk teacher, I sat over there.” And before I could say anything else…
“You’re lying!” She yelled
“I’m asking you again and you better tell me the truth. Why didn’t you clean up your mess?”
Have you ever been accused of something you didn’t do?
Survival kicked in and that’s when I lied. I said “I don’t know” because I didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t believe my honesty and so I lied.
She hit me
The little caged bird was so scared and confused. I was thrown to the opposite side of the spectrum in total fear by my teacher, clearly an unconscious adult. But who knows that at 6?
From darkness to light. That’s the name of the game
From the unconscious to the conscious. I have found in looking back at my life that we are always presented with hundreds of opportunities to decide whether or not to be a victim. I decided not to be a victim.
Now, I don’t know what came over me on that day walking home from school, but I do think it came from the spirit of the hummingbird in my heart. When I got home I said to myself once again “I am free!”
What I share with you today is this
No matter what happens on the outside, it can’t change who you are on the inside. People are crazy. Don’t take it on. Yes, polarity is there for you to learn and to choose, and thank God I chose freedom. Whatever happened in your past that left you feeling like a victim, stop it.
Take your power back. Choose freedom
And whatever happens to you in the future – don’t ever let your spirit die. Remember who you are. You have wings and they are God given. Say to yourself no matter what:
“I am not a victim. I am powerful and I am free because God created me.”
With the spirit of the hummingbird in my heart and in the name of freedom.
I love you
Now it’s your turn! Here are some questions to ponder and journal:
- Do you remember learning how to lie?
- What valuable lessons did you learn?
- Have you ever been accused of something you didn’t do?
- How did you react?
- Has someone ever made you feel powerless? In that situation, in what ways could you have reclaimed your power?
I’d love to hear from you. Scroll down, leave a comment and let me know what you’ve discovered! If you’d like to do some deep forgiveness work, click here to download my free ‘How to Journal’ guide.