What Are You Walking As?
A Reflection on Care — The One Thing We Cannot Afford to Lose

“Do not think with your head but with your heart.” — Our Lady of Medjugorje

The Power of Care in a Disconnected World

Care. Such a simple four-letter word. And yet I think most of us have forgotten what it actually feels like — not in our heads, but in our bodies, in our heart. The way it used to feel to be genuinely moved by something. To let it matter. We know what we react to. We know what we fear, what stops us from scrolling at 2am. But that is not care. That is the nervous system doing its job. Care costs you more. Care asks more of you. Care requires something from you that indifference never does.

How Grief Changes Your Capacity to Care

I lost my daughter Jordy. And grief does something nothing else does — it simplifies you. The noise falls away. What you thought mattered stops mattering. And what you were too busy to notice suddenly becomes everything. I care differently now. Less about showing up in a certain way and more about being fully present, just as I am.

I used to think awakening meant rising above the human experience, especially the messiness of it all. But I don’t believe that anymore. I think awakening deepens your capacity to care — while keeping your feet on the ground, in the body, in the room with the person in front of you. To care is to stand for something. And what you stand for catapults you into a whole other way of living.

What True Care Brings Forth

All four of my children were glued to the TV when Mister Rogers’ Neighbourhood came on. And I used to watch them watching him. Something in them recognised what he was bringing into the room. He showed up without fail, every morning, caring deeply about one thing — how his message could help shape a child’s mind. Mr Rogers stood for educare. Drawing out what is already within. Not filling children up but bringing forth what was already there. That is what care looks like when it has conviction. And it asks us each the same question: what is my care bringing forth?

The Body Knows When We Are Living From Love

I notice the difference in my own body. When I am living from the defended part of me — managing how I come across, watching how things look — there is a tightening, a kind of bracing. When I am living from care, something opens, because the body knows before the mind does. We lack nothing. A lesson from A Course in Miracles states I am as God created me. That means our natural inheritance is whole, perfect and complete. That is my starting point. When I remember that I am a space where love shows up, and from that place care moves through me to you. The I becomes we. And we is where care truly lives.

Compassion Is Love Made Visible

Someone once asked Mother Teresa what they could do to help her cause, expecting she would ask for money. She didn’t. She said go out and find someone who is alone and convince them that they are not. That is it. That is the whole thing. Care is not a grand gesture. It is turning toward another human being and saying — I see you. You are not invisible. You are not alone. The moment you stop asking what can I get and start asking who can I turn toward, everything changes. The I becomes we. And we is where care truly lives.

Our Lady of Medjugorje and the Call to Return to Love

She has been appearing on a rocky hill in Bosnia for over forty years now. Our Lady of Medjugorje. Showing up, decade after decade, not frustrated that we haven’t listened. Just returning, over and over, with a patience and tenderness I honestly cannot comprehend. And she keeps saying the same thing in a hundred different ways: come back to love. Come back to your heart. That is where the answers are.

I am climbing that hill this summer. I don’t fully know what I’m bringing or what I’ll find. But I know I am going toward something that understands care the way I want to understand it. The way I think all of us, somewhere deep down, are longing to understand it. If you’d like to join me, find out more about our spiritual tour to Bosnia here.

What Example Will You Be on This Planet?

Think of yourself as an example. Not a perfect one — just a living one. What example will you be on this planet? What will your children see when they watch how you love, how you show up, how you treat the person in front of you? What will the people you left behind say? We don’t get to choose when we arrive in this world or when we leave it. But we do get to choose what we leave behind.

What is moving you? What is touching you? Or are you going through the motions — performing, producing, scrolling faster? Because when you truly care about something, you stand for it and there is commitment. There is responsibility. Something flows through you and out into the world. And that flow can ignite care in the people around you in ways you may never fully see.

Real care is not weakness.

It is love made visible.