A Bittersweet Christmas: Finding Love and Faith in Grief

By Dehyana

The Changing Landscape of Christmas

Christmas has always been my favourite season—a time of warmth, glowing lights, and joy shared with loved ones. But this year feels different. It’s bittersweet as I face the reality of celebrating without my beloved daughter, Jordy. The laughter and togetherness that once filled the season now highlight the absence of her presence. It feels like there’s an empty chair at the table which brings an ache in my heart that words can’t fully capture.

Remembering Jordy: A Light Extinguished Too Soon

Jordy was my light. Her laughter was contagious, and her compassionate spirit left a mark on everyone she met. Losing her to suicide has been the hardest experience of my life, challenging everything I thought I understood about love, resilience, and faith. This first Christmas without her has me reflecting deeply on what this season means and how I can honour her memory.

“Jordy was my light. Her laughter was contagious, and her compassionate spirit left a mark on everyone she met

Christmas, at its core, is about love. It’s about family, friends, and most importantly, God’s love for us. This year, that love feels more urgent, more raw, and more intentional. At the same time, It feels both tender and transformative, offering a comforting source of solace in my grief. I’ve come to understand that this holiday doesn’t have to be about hiding my pain or pretending everything is okay. Instead, it can be a time to acknowledge my emotions, celebrate Jordy’s life, and hold onto the unbreakable love that still connects us.

Faith in the Midst of Darkness: Christ’s Enduring Light

In this season of hope, the birth of Christ takes on a deeper meaning for me now. In my sorrow, I’m reminded of the enduring love and light Jesus brought into the world. His birth is a testament to God’s presence in our suffering and His promise to bring beauty from ashes. Even as my heart aches, I trust that His light shines in the darkness, steady and unyielding.

Jordy’s radiant smile and compassionate heart were God’s gifts to me—a reflection of His grace. While losing her has been an unimaginable trial, I find comfort in knowing she is now held in the arms of the One who created her. This sacred season is teaching me to turn toward the light of Christ, even through my tears, and to find hope in His love.

A Message of Hope to Those Who Grieve

To those who are grieving this Christmas, I want you to know you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel the weight of your sorrow, to let your tears fall, and to bring your broken heart to God. He sees your pain and draws near to comfort you. His love doesn’t erase the hurt but walks with us through it, offering strength with every step.

“God’s love doesn’t erase the hurt but walks with us through it, offering strength with every step.”

Honouring Jordy’s Memory

This year, I’m choosing to honor Jordy by reflecting Christ’s light in her name—through my writing, quiet prayers, and cherishing the people I love. The twinkling lights on the tree remind me of Jordy’s radiance, and the Christmas carols, though bittersweet, hold memories of her singing along when she was a little girl. How blessed am I to feel her presence in every small moment of grace.

“How blessed am I to feel her presence in every small moment of grace.”

Embracing Grief and Joy: A Delicate Balance

I want you to know that grief and joy can coexist, even when it feels impossible. If you’re grieving this season, give yourself permission to feel it all—the sadness, the love and the memories because that’s the medicine needed to heal.

To everyone reading this, I encourage you to hold your loved ones close this Christmas. Tell them you love them, not just with words, but with your actions. And if you’re grieving, know that Christ’s love endures—stronger than time, distance, or even death.

For me, this Christmas is a testament to Jordy’s life and the love that continues to flow from her spirit into mine. She is gone, but she is not lost. She lives in the stars above. I hear her voice in the wind’s gentle whisper, and in every act of kindness shared in her name I see her smile.

“She is gone, but she is not lost. She lives in the stars above.”

A Prayer of Hope and Healing

This Christmas, may the light of Christ fill your heart with hope and peace. Trust in His faithfulness, and remember that through Him, all things will one day be made new.

May you find moments of comfort and healing in His love this season

With Much love and many blessings
Dehyana